Plastic wrap on couches now hip...

I visited a home the other day in a good neighborhood. I was very surprised to see the yellow couch covered in plastic wrap. I thought that this phenemonon had ended in the 1970s, but apparently there is some type of resurgence in your typical American suburbs. I imagine that the plastic wrap keeps the furniture in pristine condition for eternity.

The owner of the home served me a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a glass of warm milk. I relished every bit while I sat on the plastic couch. There was a weird squeaking noise when I shifted my buttocks to get the proper view of the commercial that advertised lowering your cholesterol in three weeks. The commercial warned against your normal side effects, namely dizziness, diarrhea, weak knees, and giant crabs.

I asked the owner of the home about her use of plastic wrap. Susan simply said: "I started using the plastic wrap to protect the quality of this couch. I know that it is a piece of shit but I would like to keep it a piece of shit for a long time or until my hair falls out and they lower me into the grave."