Breakfast in bed now fading...

The traditional breakfast in bed to surprise your sweetheart has been fading away steadily since 1989. Husbands and boyfriends used to spend a lot of time over the stove preparing a poached egg delight or an omelette with a twist. These days it is obvious that these men would rather spend their time cleaning their golf irons or looking at a porn magazine from yesteryear.

I had the pleasure of speaking to some married couples and other lovely people who were committed to their relationships failing at some point in the future. A pretty woman, who had been married for five years, said: "He just doesn't want to put in the effort. We've had this breakfast tray for years and now he no longer wants to use it. I am guilty of the same thing. I have neglected my sweetie and would rather spend the time re-reading a passage from a good book." Another woman, who had been in a relationship for almost a year, said: "That is something that happens in the movies. The tray of food appears and there might be a little rose in a thin silver vase to accompany the meal. This is fantasy. Reality is that my boyfriend burns the toast and then tosses the pieces to the dog."

Breakfast in bed is fading faster than we know. This does not mean that it is gone for good. Many social experts say to expect a resurgence of breakfast in bed in the next ten years or whenever the divorce rate drops in this society. For now it's just best to get the fuck out of bed and make a bowl of cereal than to dream of your sweetheart coming up with a grand plan so early in the morning. No one is worth that except (as one man who was in strong relationship put it) if she is hot as fuck.