Booger slows my treadmill...

The other day at the fitness center I was struck by a crusty booger on the treadmill. It was thick and green. It was the only treadmill available so I had no other choice but to use what was given to me. It seemed as though the booger was strategically placed; the person who had picked a winner that morning had smeared the booger on the start button. I had no other choice but to push that button if I wanted to jog a few miles. And I had to do my workout--it had been days since I exercised my chicken legs. There was no way around this stupid fucking booger.

I used my index finger and lightly touched the encrusted booger. It was not enough; the machine would not power on. I pressed it again with a little more force, and a piece of the booger broke apart and stuck to the tip of my finger. The machine powered on, but my index finger had been slimed with a stubborn booger. I had been victimized and it did not feel good at all. I quickened the pace on the machine, and ran as if a giant booger was chasing me through a field. It was not far from the truth, and it served as some serious motivation.