Living in your parents' basement now cool...

Many years ago (circa 1995) a person living in his or her parents' basement was considered the worst possible thing imaginable. It was worse than death, especially for a male or female that had attended a university and had not moved forward after completing his or her studies. 2009 is different in the sense that it is now cool to live in your parents' basement. A boy who dropped out of high school after freshman year quipped: "I am happy where I am. I never finished high school and obviously never went to college but I love living in the basement. Now that it is cool...I feel like I was a trailblazer after starting this a few years ago. The best part of it is that I didn't go to college and waste any money." Many boys are saying the same thing, and say they are feeling a strong sense of acceptance wherever they go. When asked if they plan on moving out of the basement, many state: "I hope it doesn't come to that. It would be a very sad day. I would feel like a loser." One college graduate responded: "I'm glad that I studied history for four years. It really has afforded me the lifestyle I have dreamed about. Who knew how cool it would be?"

Many department stores are now focusing on shifting their decor options to include basement furnishings to accomodate the large amount of losers who want to beautify the space they inhabit in their dank spot of their parents' home. It seems as though internet dating sites have also caught on to this phenomenon and have created a couple of websites that cater to these degenerates. Downunder.com is devoted solely to people who never leave their basement and has little to do with Australia. The website basementdwellers.com is also geared to helping those people find love who are stuck at the bottom.

With so many people living in their parents' basement, some colleges are seeing a decline in enrollment. One admissions representative stated: "I just don't get it. Don't these people want to do something with their lives anymore? In 1995 it was the total opposite of what it is now. Young people just don't give a fuck. And now that mentality is the cool thing. Excuse me. I am so sorry. Was that uncool?"