Is tipping good karma?

I try to support my independent coffee shops and sandwich eateries that offer fresh veggies. I make an effort to look for that big glass tip jar that reads 'Tipping is good karma.' Usually there is a big smiley face on the jar and I almost always drop in a dollar or my coins after I make my purchase. If it is good karma, I better keep doing it. I got promoted, found a wallet in the street, and won a large sum of money on a scratch ticket. This all happened while I was tipping consistently. Who doesn't need good karma these days? It's not so much the phrase that gets me to drop me in a lil something into the tip jar, but the awkward smiley face scribbled above the suggestion. It draws me in, saying put in a dollar you stupid mother fucker or something bad is going to happen to you later after you finish your cafe mocha.

I learned my lesson the hard way a few days ago. After I had ordered a large iced coffee I ignored the tip jar and just took my coffee and went off to continue with my life. I should have known because the smiley face's voice echoed in my head. As I crossed the street to get to the other side (like a chicken), I tripped over my shoes. I noticed that my shoelace was untied when I fell. That was not bad enough. When I looked up, there was a big bearded man with an Uzi. He told me that he didn't want to kick people when they were down, but decided it best to shoot them. He shot me in the side of the head with the Uzi and luckily for me I only needed a few stitches.

The moral is simple. Tip or suffer the consequences. My hearing will come back a few months.