Glory holes are now popping up like gopher holes in our bathrooms across this country. Glory holes used to be confined to colleges and universities. But now it seems in a troubled economy glory holes are everywhere. And it's not just that prostitutes are out there to profit from these holes and make ends meet in troubled times. There have been recent reports that glory holes have been discovered in sandwich shops, bike rental shops, and fine-dining spots. People are just going apeshit in a recession that has clamped its jaws on all of us. Essentially bank robberies are things of the past; glory hole blasting seems to be a strange panacea for the economic woes, but it's working.
Many people today are proud of the glory holes. One fellow quipped: "If I now know that I can get a turkey sub with a side of blowjob, I think this country is heading in the right direction. Potato chips are a thing of the past. Where's my wife?" Another man said: "Hey, I didn't know I could get air in my tires and my pipes cleaned too. This is great." A woman, who had just eaten at an elegant restaurant, did not feel the same way: "My husband has been in the bathroom for over thirty minutes...what the hell can he be doing in there?" It was evident that the woman had not heard the news. Perhaps it was best to be in the dark some times.
Janitors are working overtime to try to plug these holes but it is to no avail. As soon as one hole is plugged, another person is drilling a hole...probably at your local pancake house.
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