Saturday, July 25, 2009

The ass crackle...

I find myself enjoying coffee as much as the rest of the people in this great country. Often times I will sit towards the back of the establishment to read a newspaper (something that is hardly done anymore) and drink my piping hot coffee. I find the rear of the shop is the most peaceful and tends to be away from the hustle and bustle at the counter.

I made a horrible mistake when I took my seat the other day at the back. I had been sitting down for about ten minutes until a fat woman walked towards the back and went to the bathroom. While I was sipping my cafe au lait, I heard the sonic boom of an ass that could not stop crackling. I almost retched but was able to steady myself to pretend that I was concentrating on a well-written editorial.

The fat woman exited a few minutes later, and my eyes hardened when I met hers. She looked at me and laughed: "I should have warned you...fellow. When I release my goods, it's no small thing, baby. Next time take a seat up at the front away from the toilets and you won't offend your ears."

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