A sure way to repel women?

While it is getting harder and harder to meet new people in 2009 (due to the fact that everyone just uses the internet), it is doubly hard when a man chooses to approach a woman and decides that smoothness is too boring an approach. While smoothness has been historically been a part of a suitor's game, many people are taking to odd openers. My sister Brent recently told me about his friend's recent advance in a San Francisco bar. Brent's friend initially introduced himself to the woman, but then added something I would have thought a sure repellent: "I had a bout of diarrhea this morning." The woman was so taken aback by this opener that she found herself actually striking up a conversation with the man. She could not believe that she had not walked away.

On the cusp of a new decade, it's high time we all started introducing ourselves in other ways. The other day I introduced myself to a woman in the gym. I said: "I don't know about you, but I am going to shit my short running shorts." We are going out tomorrow night for a candlelight dinner.